Uncle Ezra Faces Facebook

You don’t have to be a president to be fascinated with Facebook. A quick look at Dear Uncle Ezra yields some results of interest.

For the unaware, Dear Uncle Ezra claims it was “the first on-line helpline in the world” created to “help students, staff, alumni, prospective students, parents — readers all around the world — calm their fears, consider courses of action, determine resources, feel heard and feel empowered.”

In the spirit of being heard and empowered, I present the following entries. May these questions posed by members of the Cornell community guide you through all your Facebook troubles.

From “Questions for Thursday, April 28, 2005” :

My dearest uncle,
I am just having a crush on a girl, based on her facebook profile. She seems like my dream girl. But I couldn’t figure out any way to contact her other than sending her a message through web. We don’t have any common friends. What can I say to her? “I am very impressed with your profile and blah,blah blah..? This would seem like a cheap, cliché move. I seek comfort in your wise counsel.

From “Questions for Thursday, October 20, 2005” :

Hi Ezra.
I live in Balch Hall, and I have a problem. Groups of people are incessently walking through the courtyard and screaming PENIS at all hours of the night. It is VERY annoying, as it goes on quite often. Even worse, these people are proud of it (they even have a facebook group dedicated to it). However, it is not funny because everyone just wants to sleep at night without being woken up by the antics of drunken people. What steps can be taken to stop this?

From “Questions for Thursday, May 4, 2006” :

Hi Uncle,
I have a question with regards to whether something would be ok or considered sketchy. I’m sure you’ve heard of the latest craze on college campuses, Facebook. Do you think it’s okay to use Facebook as a dating site to some extent and ask people out based on their facebook profiles? I feel that if someone writes that they are single, doesn’t that mean they want people to know so that if you’re interested you can ask them out? Or, am I rationalizing and would it be considered sketchy to write to someone who all you know about them is from their profile?


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